Saturday, December 15, 2007

Notes on a Business Plan for Luxury Gut Bacteria

"Golden Colon":

A Business Plan for Luxury Lower Intestines

Personal Enhancement Industry: Boob jobs, nose jobs, liposuction, penile enlargement. A $12.2 billion dollar a year business -- and climbing.

Of the many human features, the lower gastro-intestinal tract has yet to be significantly value-added.

We see massive upside potential in the fundamental downside.

Fact: 70% of the "human" genome is actually gut bacteria.

Fact: humans have been intentionally ingesting, selectively breeding, and directly modifying gut bacteria across history.

Fact: yogurt.

Fact: simple bacteria are used as micro-factories to produce pharmaceutical and other products.

Fact: interest in biologic solutions is at an all time high. Pro-biotic treatments (ingesting orally or through reverse colonic irrigation) are gaining acceptance as alternatives to traditional medicinal remedies.

Fact: bathroom products have historically high mainstream acceptance. Studies show toilet humor at an all time high.

We propose to create custom engineered gut bacteria with enhanced genomes for those anyone who wants to look and feel their best.

Why be content with the same bacteria as your fellow citizens? You strive for the best in everything. Why stop at your foundation?

Luxury differentiation represents a significant market gap in the colonic augmentation space.


Advertisement: Cartoon bacterial snobs in a ghetto. Golden colon revitalizes the slum and makes it a happy place once again. Note: Avoid racial stereotypes when depicting "ghetto" bacteria.

Advertisement: Depressed cartoon colons. Happy cartoon colons, riding in a Cadillac Escalade.

Brand Segmentations:

BottomLine: For Men
Foundations: For Women

Terms to avoid: lower intestine, gut, digestive tract

Intestine has the following unfortunate sounds:

Intest (rhymes with...)

Better: Fundamentals. Organs of Renewal. Your Basis. Support Systems. Life
Factory. Life Ladder. BioReactor. A Home for My Little Friends.

\t : iPhone->you

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